Tragic Bubble Skirts
I am very excited to welcome contributions from Leah Coffman who writes and runs BadFadsblog
It’s an honor to have her, and it’s even more of an honor to get to post articles written by her especially for OhWowYouWoreThat!
I’m very conflicted on bubble and balloon hems.
On one hand, done right they can be gorgeous. A balloon hem on the train of a wedding gown looks almost organic, particularly in a satin or charmeuse. I’ve similarly seen adorable LBDs, up to and including my bridesmaid’s dresses, that have bubble hems. Not to get too technical, but on a girl with a low waist-to-hip ratio, the silhouette creates a more curvaceous figure. Curves, no matter what we see in Vogue or Elle or Cosmo, will always be beautiful.
However, with bubble skirts, particularly short ones, the risk is always run that curves will be over-emphasized or worse, made to look non-existent with an unflattering cut. Therein lies the problem with bubble skirts. They look cute on a very, very small percentage of the population, and we need to be more aware of what’s in the mirror in front of us instead of what’s being screamed at us in stores and ads. Dressing the body you have, instead of the trend you like on Emma Watson or whoever the hell, is a much more reliable way of looking polished and put-together.
Perhaps it’s the odd angle, or the weird drapery of the skirt, but that is a really tragic cut. Perhaps that is the more central issue of this unfortunate look. I keep trying to target what exactly is raising my ire but I keep coming back to that cut. I keep looking at the bottom of that skirt and wondering:
“Why? Why did it need to hang in such an odd and unflattering way? Why does it look like she’s wearing Depends?“
I’m also confused by the plaid shirt, which:
1) Doesn’t match
2) Appears to either be untucked or have some sort of weird ruffle down the front.
Either way I hate it.
I also hate her ENORMOUS and clearly blow-dried, straightened, and then “teased to within an inch of its life” hair-do. I don’t know the last time I saw so much work put in to look frizzy and dried out. Sometimes, it’s better all around to just let things take a more natural course, particularly when it comes to hair.
So what have we learned today?
1) Look in a mirror before you leave the house.
2) Don’t over-do and therefore murder your hair.
3) Bubble skirts work on a very, very small percentage of people. It is not a good look for anyone who has hips.